Happy and Homesick

Week two at Invisible Children: done. It's so crazy how quickly time goes by, but also feels like several days crammed into one. I've been working 10-12 hour days this week. I've also realized that I love living with so many people. There are 64 of us in the house, and the most difficult things about it are cold showers, bad internet connection, and long lines for laundry. But everyone is so loving and so sweet.

This week was up and down for sure. Last Sunday, it sunk in that I cannot get green chile any and everywhere. Then, the first couple of days of booking were incredibly frustrating to me. I would spend most of the day calling and emailing people, leaving messages, talking directly to them, and getting no response. I am still learning the software and the process to book screenings and find contacts, and being so slow at using it is hard for me. I drove the van for the first time Wednesday. I had no incidents getting to the office from La Mesa. Leaving the parking garage after work, that was another story. I definitely clipped the walk and broke a window. I was so upset with myself. I was embarrassed, I was mad, I was tired. I felt so dumb. But every person in the van was absolutely an angel. I was crying and they were supportive and reassuring. Not a single person got frustrated with me. It was such a beautiful moment, realizing that every person in that van was so ready to be home but still so patient and encouraging to me, someone they only met a week ago.

I then got a couple of screening agreements back, which meant I got to ring the gong. My team leader, Andrew, is a wonderful person. He has speakers plugged into his laptop and special songs for each of us to have play when we go to ring the gong. Everyone cheers and goes crazy for every screening agreement we get. So when I walk up, I get to walk to Eye of the Tiger. It's basically the greatest thing ever.

I've also learned a ton this week. I've learned about some of Invisible Children's programs on the ground, and I've realized that this is a really serious organization. Yes, it was started basically by kids. Yes, teenagers and college students are the core of it here in the U.S. Yes, we dance, we shout, we're flashy. But we also are responsible for a bill that is saving lives in Central Africa. We also are building sustainable programs on the ground. We're helping the people of Northern Uganda to rebuild. And we aren't just giving handouts. We're giving financial training, we're giving the opportunity for education so the next generation can live in peace. It's crazy.

And I didn't only learn about programs. I learned a lot about friendships. I realized how we have to work to maintain relationships in a way I hadn't realized it before. I was reassured that when you are close to someone, you can actually always talk to them about how you feel. I learned that it's really comforting to have someone from home, even when you love everyone new you're meeting. I think really I learned a lot about love and all the different ways it shows up in my life. And this is only the second week here. I can feel the change and the growth in my heart already.

I also went to a really great church today. It's not really like the Calvary Night Service back in Las Cruces, but it had a really similar vibe. That being said, I am a little homesick. Just the right amount, I think.

Real quick, a couple of highlights of the week:

A lovely roadie for Cal-Vegas got called for the question and answer session. We do Q&A every day to make sure we know what we're doing. She is very soft spoken and maybe the sweetest person alive. She went up to the front and delivered the most eloquent answer to her question. The room was silent as she spoke, and when she was done, we all jumped out of our chairs, cheering and clapping. Some people were crying. It was beautiful.

We were all reminded that we no longer need to say, "I love what Invisible Children is doing," but rather, "I love what we're doing." We are Invisible Children.

And a shout out to my new teammate, Laura. She already is just proving to be an amazing human and jumped right into our team like she had always been there.

And finally, some moving words spoken by one of our founders, Jason Russell (may be some paraphrasing):

"It's not where you take things from, it's where you take things to."

"Everything in your life is preparing you for the opportunity that is to come."

"Wherever you are, no matter the circumstance, you can chose to live life beautifully, you can choose joy."

"Your thoughts dictate the reality that you're living in... You teach people how to treat you. You have the choice to either bring the party or not bring the party."

To a Short and Beautiful Friendship

As we began the second week, one of my beautiful teammates, Julianne, made the hard choice to leave us and go on a different journey. I am so in love with my team, so it was definitely a huge loss. She is a beautiful girl and such a sweetheart. I am so sad that her path is one that takes her away from us after we have only known her for a week.

I have such respect for her though. She realized that she needed to do something different, and I admire how she knew this about herself so early on.

It doesn't matter that I only have known her for a week. I love her. I'm planning to stay in touch. It's hard but I love her all the more for making this call. What incredible strength and maturity. Even if I felt that I couldn't give everything I have to this organization, I think I wouldn't have had the courage to do what was right in this situation.

Middle America is actually the luckiest. We get to have a sixth teammate.

We didn't lose one; we are gaining another.

Love you Julianne. You will be missed.

Oceanside

I saw the Pacific Ocean for the first time last night. Being from the desert, it is a little overwhelming and terrifying to look out over that much water. It doesn't translate to me. It scares me. I was more fearful because it was dark. I couldn't that I couldn't see anything but an endless expanse of water. That is terrifying.

I have been thinking about this idea of the ocean. It's beautiful. It's one of those things that reveals the glory of God. And the way I look at the ocean is similar to how I view God. Both are beautiful, infinite, and inspire fear and awe in me. Not only does the ocean cover a vast distance, it is deep. Again, like God. I think He made the ocean to remind us. It's especially effective if you are from a place that is more likely to go 9 months without rain than not. It's a powerful thing.

And then I started to think about the darkness that prevented me from seeing the ocean. That is so like the sin in this world. It's so like the sin in me that stops me from knowing God. It's incredible. I fear the ocean and the vastness and the depth and how overwhelming it is. But when it is shrouded in darkness. That is crazy. I was scared, but like a child is scared. I wasn't fearful of the might of the ocean in all its glory and beauty. I was afraid that it existed at all. The darkness prevented me from actually seeing this immense thing that is the great Pacific Ocean.

It's an interesting thought. The light comes and dispels the darkness. Then we can see the ocean. And I might still be afraid of the concept of so much water, but I'm overwhelmed by it's beauty.

It's just like God. Christ came to dispel darkness. And through Christ, I can see the beauty of God, if only I'll look for Him.

God's creation is magnificent.

First Week

My first day here = incredible. But first, the crazy story of how I actually got to San Diego!

I decided that the bus was the way to go. So cheap. Yeah I would leave in the middle of the night and be on a bus for 17 hours. Seemed worth it to me. My first bus was leaving at midnight, but it never showed. My beautiful friends drove me to Tuscon, and I managed to get on a bus there. I made friends with a grown man who introduced himself as Dodger, which sounds way sketchier than it actually was. Eventually I made it to San Diego around 11.

The next morning, we went to the office. I was lucky enough to see a lot of friendly faces, so it wasn't too overwhelming. It was insane, and totally ridiculous but it wasn't terrifying. Just really awesome.

Over this week, I've met so many people, and they are all amazing. I love my team more every day. I love the campaign we're about to launch. I love the vision, I love San Diego, I love that I'm part of this. It's so clear to me that this is where I'm supposed to be.

It's hard work. I've studied more than I did in the last two years of school. But I am really enjoying it. The energy in the office is actually tangible.

Also, I'm pretty sure that it turns out I'm extroverted. Apparently everyone knew but me.

So excited about so much. There are too many details to go into here about the beauty in IC office life.

Opportunities

Wow, this day is so crazy. I started the day in prayer with my discipleship partner, and clearly that is how I will have to go into every day! After we prayed, I went to Starbucks to study up and finish my pre-arrival activities. Pretty soon after sitting down, a complete stranger asked to join me. I've recently realized I'm a little more extroverted than I thought, so I said, sure, have a seat. I was reading on my laptop, and he asked me about the Invisible Children stickers on my laptop. So I told him about the organization and how I would be working with them this semester. He was excited to know that my generation is worried about these things and willing to work to change them. Then, a contact I had made in my hometown of Roswell posted on my Facebook to tell me someone from IC has already called him and that they are working on a screening in Roswell. There has never been one there, and before I was going to work for IC, no one there had heard of it. So that was really exciting. And then, on top of that, a girl that I've had several classes with asked me for more information on what IC is. She's planning to attend the NMSU screening.

I'm so grateful for the opportunity to do this. I leave in a couple of days, and I was starting to be stressed out again. But I think that I am ready for this.

God is incredible.

KONY 2012

God is incredible. He provides when I least expect it and in moments of my greatest distress.

That said, check this out. In five days, this will be my life.

KONY 2012: STOP AT NOTHING

Blessed

As the clock winds down to the day I leave for San Diego, I've been really taking time to pray and consider what I'm going to do and the friendships I will leave and the ones I will make. It's hard. I'm so fortunate to have a group of friends that are honestly more like family. I'm going to miss them more than I can express with words. I'm blessed enough to have learned how to trust people, how to be vulnerable with them, how to love them more than I ever imagined I could, how to laugh, cry, and pray with them. I know this is not the norm. I know God has given me more than I could ever hope to deserve. Even if he had only given me one of them, that would be too much.

I've also been lucky enough to start talking with my teammates. They are incredible people. I can't even begin to imagine how great they are and how well our team will work together. I'm so excited because I feel that we're all going to be able to be open and comfortable. I feel like we all just want to love people. And that is exciting. I can't wait to see all the different strengths of each of my teammates.

I believe I am the luckiest person alive. My life is so incredibly filled with God's grace and mercy and joy. Perfect.