The Valleys

One of the coolest roadies I've met said it best on launch day: "We are made for the valleys." Life is full of highs and lows, mountaintops and valleys. The last two weeks have absolutely proved this to be true.

First of all, we've seen great success and extraordinary frustrations. Within two days of launching Kony 2012 online, we absolutely crushed our goal of 500000 views. In two weeks, something like 100 million people have viewed Kony 2012. It's uncommon now to come across someone who hasn't heard of Joseph Kony. Our mission was to make him famous, and it's working.

It was hard because the day that Kony 2012 went viral, we were at a really lightly attended screening. I just wanted to shout to the crowd outside that they were missing out on history being made. I wanted to tell them all that they needed to open their eyes and look around at the injustice in the world instead of focusing on their own lives. But even still, we had some amazing people. And after a lot of thought on this, I know that it isn't my place to lecture or judge. We are addressing something dark and something painful. Sometimes, people aren't ready to hear about it. Sometimes, people are devoted to fighting another area of the darkness. I can't make the call about where people are in their lives and hearts, although it was frustrating to me. Honestly, it was frustrating because I remember how long it took for me to care about acting on anything wrong in the world.

This sudden fame of course meant scathing criticism. It was hard to read and hard to hear that people were watching this film and throwing stones at Invisible Children instead of joining us to see Kony and the LRA stopped. It was extremely painful at moments. But then, there were all the people we were meeting that would ask questions, not attacking us, but just genuinely wanting to know. And it was amazing to watch people who began as skeptics change their hearts and support what we were doing.

We were met more and more with people who were supportive. The focus in the madness had somehow become about Invisible Children and not about stopping Kony. I think that this reaction came from a sense of shame. People had no idea this had been going on for 26 years. When it was shown to them, somewhere in their hearts, they felt shame that their fellow human beings were suffering and living in fear. The gut reaction was to lash out, to find someone who was at fault for something. At least, that is what I believe. But as the week passed, more people began to talk about issues of social justice and what it means to live in a world where we can help each other and be connected so easily. People started to talk about how this connection changes our responsibilities to each other. People began to care. This was a mountaintop moment.

I don't know much about what happened to Jason. I know that all of us at Invisible Children are hurting for him. The extreme stress and harsh criticisms took their toll on him, mentally, physically, emotionally. Who of us wouldn't have been affected? I do know that it has been incredible to have this community, this family, all reaching out to hold each other up, all fighting to move forward, all still willing to stop at nothing to see Joseph Kony brought to justice this year. My heart breaks to see Jason unwell. I'm praying for him and his recovery each day, and I ask that you would pray, too. This is a hard thing, but we are still on the side of what is right. This is a mission bigger than Jason, bigger than Invisible Children. This is about seeing justice and changing the mentality of the world. And it is working.

We have been calling contacts to just talk to them about any questions they are getting or any concerns they have. I was nervous to make these calls. The first contact I reached was amazing. He told me about how he has been involved with IC since seeing the Rough Cut in middle school. He told me how they are still excited to have us and how he believes in what we are doing. He told me they are praying for us all. Another contact told me that her club that is hosting the event held up posters saying different times IC didn't stop when things got hard and that IC wouldn't stop until Kony was captured. She told me there is a lot of support and positive responses. And the last contact I spoke to today said they all just want to see Jason take care of himself and get well. It was extremely powerful and encouraging to hear these people supporting and caring. It's incredible to see that not only IC employees, but also supporters across the country, are willing to show love and grace at this time.

My mom watched Kony 2012 when it came out. It was the first IC film she saw. I asked her what she thought, and she told me that she cried because there is so much evil in the world. I told her that there is so much good fighting the evil. I had forgotten that I believed that until she wrote it on my Facebook today. There really is so much good fighting the evil. Being on the road, it is so hard to remember that we are fighting a spiritual battle. This is so much bigger than the obvious pieces of the story. There is so much more at stake, so we have to risk so much more. As Invisible Children's CEO Ben Keesey says, "You can only succeed as far as you are willing to fail."

The world is a different place than it was two weeks ago. So much has happened. There have been mountaintops and valleys. We have seen darkness fighting to crush us. A couple of verses from 1 John have been on my heart in the last few hours.

"This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all." -1 John 1:5

"Yet I am writing you a new command; its truth is seen in him and you, because the darkness is passing and the true light is already shining." -1 John 2:8

God is light. Ultimately, He will defeat the darkness. Above all else, this is what matters. This is what is beautiful and what I cling to.

Even now, so much is beautiful. Keep praying. I can't predict what will come in the next seven weeks of my life. I don't pretend I'm not afraid. I do know that I cannot stop and will not give up. I can't say why anyone else on this tour is working for IC, but I know I'm here for the glory of God, to work on showing love to everyone I meet, and to help see justice served in this dark world.

Lastly: "Consider what God has done: Who can straighten what he has made crooked? When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future." -Ecclesiastes 6:13-14

Launch to Oklahoma

Too many things have happened to correctly record them, but I should hit the highlights. The last couple of days in San Diego were intense to say the least. First of all, I was sick. And we had Launch Dinner the Tuesday before. We all got dressed up and went to a beautifully decorated building. I wish I could remember the name of it, but I couldn't breathe and my body was exhausted. Jason, one of our founders, and Jed, the director of ideology, got up to read affirmations for each roadie. I was sitting between two of my best friends here, and I was tearing up as soon as it started. I have a reputation. Both of them had their affirmations read right before me, so I was pretty teary. When Jason said my name, he first asked me how I was doing and everyone laughed, including me through the tears. He told me that rumor has it I'm a crier. And that means I have empathy. He told me to never look at my empathy and tears as a weakness but as a strength and to never loose that. We finally got through all the affirmations, and it was time to watch the film we had all spent 6 weeks trying to sell to administrators, teachers, pastors, and students. It was real in that moment. We got home that night and had to clean and pack. My bunkmate and I were both sick, so we packed and went down to the corner store and bought some cold medicine and tissue. We talked about the film and what we were about to do with some of the other roadies before we went in to try to sleep off our colds.

The next morning was the last day in the office. We got there around 6:30 and did not leave until nearly midnight. Our van was packed (mostly), the office was clean, panels had been completed (finally), and our superiors told us we were ready. After a week on the road, I'm still not sure. I don't think you are ever ready for something like this. One moment that isn't lost in the fog came during our last panel. My entire team did so well, and we were told that we all were strong. Ben Keesey, the CEO, told me that I crushed the question I had to answer. I think this will remain the highlight of my life. Things can only go downhill from here. We had been packing and working all day. Things were crazy. We had to load these huge posters into the van, and they were impossible! My team had struggled with them for a while, and we had to go into our final meeting. When we came out, someone from the shipping department had loaded our posters. Of course, I burst into tears on the spot. It was an incredible, quiet act of kindness and in that moment, when I was sick and exhausted and feeling a thousand emotions, I was completely overwhelmed.

The goodbyes on launch day were incredible. I don't even know how to explain the things that I felt that day. I heard one of the youngest roadies read something extremely powerful that he had written. I said goodbye once again to one of the people I love the most in my life, and again I was so thankful for his kindness and his words of encouragement. I said goodbye to people I didn't get to know as well as I wanted, and goodbye to an acquaintance from home who became a brother over the 6 weeks together in San Diego. I was told that I was loved because of others and that I was loved for being myself. I was told that I would be missed and told that people wanted to become better friends when we get back. Throughout all of it, I wanted to encourage everyone and tell everyone all the beautiful things I had learned about them, but I couldn't speak through the tears and the strength of the emotion. People were okay with that. I've reflected on this so much, and I think God just wanted people to tell me that I am good enough to do this. I am strong enough through Him. I am loved. Sometimes, I loose sight of that. I'm shy and insecure and I want to love everyone with all I have, but that's hard to do when I feel like people don't want that from me. At launch, I understood that God loves me infinitely and the people that I love return that love to me with interest. I'm so blessed and undeserving of the people in my life.

Before I knew it, I was in Las Cruces, reunited with nearly all the people I love most, with the exception of a few I left behind. I got to introduce my beautiful friends to most of my roadie class. I was so happy and so proud of them. I had been with them greeting the roadies last semester. It was surreal to be the roadie they were waiting for. When I saw them serving breakfast to us the next morning, I was so moved by their hearts. They were up at 5:30 AM after waiting up until at least 3 AM, serving us. And one of my friends I didn't get to see left a cherry shake with a note for me. It was incredible. The whole thing. We then went to White Sands, where my parents met up with us. And we said goodbye to more of our friends. I said my goodbyes to the teams that were splitting off, and then said my goodbyes to my best friends.

Now I'm in Oklahoma, experiencing kindness everyday. I have been so humbled by just one week on the road. Our team is doing great, with the exception of Andrew, my team leader, being sick. He's almost well, but prayers for his health as well as the rest of the team would be appreciated. We're with our second host family, and I can't imagine any homes being more welcoming than these two. I keep thinking things must go downhill, but instead I'm hit with wave after wave of extreme acts of kindness. People are willing to take us into their homes and feed us. The family we're with now paid for us to go to a museum and wildlife preserve. A woman at Walmart waited for Andrew and Lawrence to get back to the van and gave them a donation. Middle school kids give us the artwork they are most proud of and say hi to us in the halls. College students use their dining points to pay for us. Strangers help us carry heavy boxes. People are kind. Just all around. And Oklahoma- BEAUTIFUL. I'm in love with this state and so sad to say goodbye tomorrow.

Next stop: St. Louis, MO

Stop at nothing.